Creating a life beyond childlessness

My speech @ Purpose Pioneers

Rianna talks about the struggles we all experience in life and how they can push us away from the life of our dreams. She explains how to move from a reported on life towards a created life. A life that makes you feel empowered & truly alive!

Video Script…

Have you ever been waiting for someone or something? Now think back at one of those moments you were waiting. Maybe you were waiting for a friend, or an exam, maybe you were waiting in line, for a concert, for an exam, paperwork.

Now I don’t want you to only think about it, I want you to feel it. Please close your eyes and go back to that situation. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? Maybe you even smell something?

Now open your eyes.

I know what that feels like. I’ve also been waiting. I’ve been waiting for almost 6 years now. I’ve been waiting for doctors, results, tests, and medication.

I’ve been waiting for a baby..

Let me show you what infertility looks like…

This is what my heart looked like, almost 6 years ago.. big bright red. 

(shows big red heart)

I felt great. I married an amazing guy, I had a job I loved, I was traveling full time and having friends all around the world. And… we were so ready to start our own little family… 

3 months passed by, then 6, then 9, then 12, and after 18 months of trying naturally we had to face the fact that we needed to see a specialist. This turned my world upside down… 

(turns heart around)

Months of testing followed… blood work, internal exams, semen analyses

(multiple small folds)

We got diagnosed with unexplained infertility and had to start with fertility treatments.

Every day, for 2 weeks I had to inject myself multiple times leaving me with bruises and severe bloating, not to talk about the emotional rollercoaster those hormones triggered within me.

Endless appointments to the doctor to monitor the progress.

(makes small tears)

Then, 36 hours before my ovulation the final shot, the trigger shot…

(makes a big tear)

The next day I had to go to the hospital for my egg retrieval. Laying there on the chair with my legs wide open, with 3 doctors and a lab assistant staring at me..  They then inserted a needle through my vagina and into my ovaries to remove the egg.

(removes a corner)

My egg (yes only 1 in my case) got sent to the lab where they mixed them with the sperm of my husband (at least I hope so). Five days later we got the good news that my egg got fertilized. They transferred the fertilized egg back into my womb and then an incredibly long 2 weeks waiting started.. 

(crumbles the heart)

After 2 weeks, of many pregnancy symptoms, caused by all the hormones, the excitement, the hope, and the expectation of a pregnancy I had to do a blood test, and 24 hours later we received the result by email..

We opened the email and (SMASH) our whole world collapsed. NOOOO.. why did it not work.. 

(sad on the table)

One day later my period started, like it was not clear enough.

I called the doctor and he told me I could come in tomorrow for the second round.

(try to unfold – strike out folds)

We’ve got ourselves up and went the next day in.. still a big bright heart, but with some unrepairable scars…

And this went on for 9 rounds…

Situation

I’ve always compared infertility with climbing a freaking high mountain. With on the top my baby. So I just kept climbing, even though I fell down sooo sooo many times. And with every negative result I had to start all over again, feeling even further away from the top.

Consequence

I started saying no to my friends, no to work projects and sometimes even no to my husband. Because there was only one thing on my mind, and that was reaching the top. Because on the top, there was that baby that I wanted so badly.

Insight

Then, one day, during a beautiful meditation where I visualized myself on the top of my mountain (look down to arms) I looked up from the baby in my arms and I saw… nothing. No husband, no friends, no job, no time, no laughter, no life. I was standing there with that little baby in my arms, all by my self..

I opened my eyes and started panicking. That’s not what I wanted. I realised that I was climbing the wrong mountain. I needed to find myself another mountain. One where I would have it all, not only on the top.. but already along the way… I needed to take back control.

Current situation

I moved to Mexico because I knew that the sun would do me good. I went on several trips, made a bunch of new friends, and I even had my first glass of alcohol for years! And you know what, when I heard myself say out loud: “I feel so alive!” – I honestly cried tears of joy.

Unfortunately, our IVF journey didn’t end with a baby. I know everyone wants success stories. I wanted and needed it too. I just didn’t get it. Sometimes it doesn’t go the way we want it to but I’ve decided that it’s not going to rob me of living an extraordinary life!

Question to you

So, let’s take a look at your mountain top. What is it that you are climbing towards? 

A dream job, a relationship, weight loss, more travels, more time?

And at what cost?

And what, if you never get it? Are you planning to live miserably for the rest of your life?

Let me be your warning: Don’t let the mountain change you. Change the mountain!

Mission

I believe that despite not having what you want most, you can still live an extraordinary life. 

And that’s what I do as a women empowerment coach. I help you find the right mountain, YOUR mountain so that you can create a life where you feel fulfilled, inspired and empowered. No, this is not a quick fix and it’s not going to be easy every day, but it’s totally possible! 

Invitation

I know what it’s like to feel lost, lonely, angry and need to rebuild your life during all of it. I’ve been there, sooo sooo many times. But transitions are a great opportunity to take back control and design the life you want to live. 

And if that sounds like something you want, I’d love to invite you for a conversation. Believe me, you’re just one decision away to take back control…

So stop waiting. Stop waiting to reach the top of the mountain, stop waiting for a promotion, for someone to fall in love with you, for Friday, for summer, for life.

Stop waiting. Start living.

Thank you!

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